Showing posts with label Prince. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prince. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

FYI: You Aren't Good Enough To Look At Prince's Passport Picture

I know, I know -- it's been a damn minute. To be completely transparent (like you know I do), I've been trying to decide the future of this blog, and if there really is one. I'm not trying to evoke any kind of reaction with this declaration; just keeping it all the way real, as I am wont to do. 

BUT, I felt compelled to come out of hibernation to share this amazing slice of heaven as soon as I saw it on UPROXX, because I love you, and what kind of dick would I be if I didn't share this purported passport picture, as presented by Prince himself?

I find it almost zero percent likely that this is Prince's actual passport photo, but really, who am I to question someone whose cat-eye liner is leaps and bounds more perfect than my own? Whose lips sport the absolute optimal amount of nude shine? Whose facial hair very closely resembles a late-'90s shave job of a lady's bathing suit area? I am not the one question this man. Not I.

Not when he has been so many generous with us.

The bounty of his spirit knows no bounds.

This man can say whatever he GD pleases.

Plus, I look like a hot pile of garbage in my passport picture. I can't say shit about shit. Bye. 

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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Prince Doesn't Own A Cellphone; Took His First Selfie

Prince is better than all of us will ever be. Even when he was the symbol. And I say this with absolutely zero percent sass, which you know is a rare occurrence for me.

"Why is he better than us?" you may find yourself asking. First of all, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. Have you heard "Let's Go Crazy"? Beyond that, this is this man's very first selfie. And it's damn #flawless. Jump back, Beyoncé.

But that's not even the biggest revelation here. Read this quote re: the inaugural selfie from Prince's rep, via Huffington Post:

Prince used an old-school camera because he doesn't own a cellphone. He jokingly says, "We ban their usage anywhere around Us because We're allergic 2 lithium and 'Everybodyelsies.'"

Okay, I have no effing idea what that last part means, but I did learn one big thing. PRINCE DOESN'T HAVE A MF-ING CELLPHONE.

Does anyone one want to buy a heavily-used iPhone with Cheetos fingerprints all over it? I'm asking for a friend.

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